Is my optimism a flaw?
I suffer from one definite, clear, and objectively disastrous weakness: a complete and utter lack of discipline in almost every way. I love to sit down and look like I’m doing something productive and do nothing at all. I love to say I’m going to do x, y, z and then not even start x because I couldn’t get there. I love to make promises to myself and never follow through. And, every time I am left feeling a little bit of a failure and a whole lot pathetic.
Could the real problem be the next step? What usually happens after this feeling of failure, or disappointment, is that I will rationalize and turn it into something of a learning experience. I will take from the mistake, the circumstance, the series of events, whatever I can find as the thing I did well, the thing I completely didn’t expect, the thing I could do better. This leaves me recharged and ready to attack these weaknesses in the morning.
Today, I am wondering if this optimistic compulsion is perhaps not my actual greatest flaw. If I continue to feel like it’s not insurmountable, or that my mistake was not fatal, will I ever learn the ultimate lesson (how to stop and perform)?
