Skips Beats Races

I constantly wonder about the ways of the world: how much of it is our doing? how much can we control? how much is life the result of everything else going on around us regardless of our actions?

I know little, and I can claim to know only less. Tonight I think it is the little things we don’t consider that end up determining our future. It is the choices we make without any deliberation, the stands we take without hesitation or intention, the paths we walk without planning, that cause the most substantial outcomes in our lives. Tomorrow I might think something different, but that is tonight. I just don’t think we can intentionally control our future, I think it will be what it will be, and all we can do is attempt to respond gracefully, confidently, and positively to the accidents that occur along the way.

Tonight I wish I was in love. Tonight I wish I was falling asleep beside or holding close a girl that I could hardly stand to be a day without. I don’t know who that is, who that is going to be, or whether what I’ve known in my life already qualifies. All I know is that she is not here, and I am probably not ready for her to be here. But, I wish she was here tonight.

In case she is listening: I’ll wait for you, right here, and when you decide to find me I’ll be exactly what you were looking for, and you’ll be exactly what I’ve been waiting for, precisely when we are ready to be found.