Skips Beats Races

I spend my life moving around. It didn’t really start out this way, and I think it is intentional, but I never stay in one place long. I don’t know if I’m afraid of committing to some place, or if I’m afraid of permanence in general, or if I’m afraid of reality, but it just doesn’t happen because I’m doing things I love and they take me all over the place.

In case you missed it, I’ve been on radio silence because I’m writing my travel blog while I’m interning in Sierra Leone for the summer. I’m doing legal things in an office most of the time, but it’s an experience for sure. A whole new world. I love it. Africa is a glorious place, despite the poverty and brutal living conditions, the people here always have a smile to share with you.

This trip has had one interesting side effect. I miss home. I miss REAL home. My heart never leaves Vancouver, British Columbia. For most of college it literally didn’t, as my then-girlfriend was still there when I left. Since then it has been family, the scenery, the sushi, the climate, the ocean, or any number of things that have kept my heart in Van. On this crazy journey my life has taken, there are days when exhaustion with the distance from home sets in. This week it happened almost every day. The weekend brings relief as we explore Freetown more and relax.

My heart also longed this week for the love of a good woman, as it were. One in particular to be honest. She is far beyond my reach now, but I wonder if my heart will ever stop longing for her return to my life. She is special, we were great together, we had our disagreements but we also had something undeniably remarkable. I still love her. Unless I’m crazy, she could still love me. Will I ever have relief from self-doubt over the decision to walk away and go on this crazy journey? Who knows.